You are not special, but should YOU?
How many times have you thought that you are special? How many times you were told that? From a young age, this idea is rooted in our mind. Firstly, by our parents then by all the advertisement industry, and then by the individualistic culture of our time. We are living in this illusion without even realizing it.
Let’s set things straight from the start, every person is unique: genetically and as a personality. The problem is the label of being special. Being unique does not mean that you are special and vice versa. First, means you have unique features that differ you from others, and that’s it. Second, entitles, that you are different to the level of exception, a sort of superhuman.
I was on a vacation in London, of course, London is a huge and amazing city that offers many surprisingly beautiful places, great museums, and good public transportation systems. Being in London I got an interesting thought “You are not special”. Seeing thousands of people moving through the underground, rushing to their job, moving through the famous Oxford street to get some new clothes it struck me that I am just a tiny part of a huge city, a person whose existence is not important in the great scheme of things, a simple particle in the great cosmic organism. We are taught from a young age that we are special that we might be the ONE but we are just 1 out of 7 billion creatures.
Let’s say that around 1 billion people think they are special, by the fact that such a big number of persons think they are special, their claim becomes invalid. In order to be special, you should be the exception not a part of a big group of people.
Speciality transcends on groups as well. A famous and widespread example are religions. Every religion says that it’s special and the true one. There are 5 main religions on earth, each of them considers the others wrong, and the followers of the other religions are sinners. Sects are deriving from bigger religions and claim, that the religion that they are based on is wrong and that only it and its followers are special.
Religion always has reflected human nature; it’s fears and joys. In the case of speciality, it is hard to say if the concept is built in religions unconsciously or as a strategy of the religious leaders. The important fact is that the belief in the concept of speciality is a negative tendency of human nature.
A lot of people operate on the assumption “I am special therefore I should be happy”, like the universe it is somehow entitled to secure their happiness. This assumption being totally wrong brings a lot of sadness and despair and its a form of a total escape from responsibility. Being trapped in this assumption you are expecting respect, luck, even though the effort and resources you invest in the above-mentioned measurement are low. The “Special” person is not respecting the basic “input-output” formula thus becoming frustrated and angry on the persons that surround him, blaming everyone, but not him and, living blindly in the dream of “Speciality”.
Let’s, on the other hand, try to operate on another assumption “I am not special therefore I should try to build my own happiness”. This assumption instead implies total responsibility for our actions, it implies that we are the creators of our own fate. Being aware of your insignificance is liberating. Yes, sometimes the things will not go the way you want, and you will be obliged to work a lot, especially on yourself. Realizing that this is just the way the things should be. This will help you navigate through adversity. Instead of trying to be special or thinking that you are “SPECIAL”, the focus should be on becoming the better version of your yesterday self. The constant reference on your past self encourages growth and a high level of personal responsibility.
The comparison with others, on the other hand, will be toxic since you can not know other persons true struggles, problems, fears and you will see a distorted image of them. This image becomes paradoxical, on one hand, you see yourself as “SPECIAL” but on the other hand, you are worse than the other persons you compare yourself to. This paradoxical view is breeding either tremendous amounts of hate or a call to wake up from the illusion of speciality.
Stoics put a great emphasis on responsibility in their ethics, stating that the things around you are out of your control, but the way you react to them is totally up to you. This is responsibility at its core. Coming back to the concept of being “ Special”, stoics would have said that this is just another way to avoid the realities of life and avoiding personal responsibility. It requires courage to face life with all its suffering, fears and joys with your head straight and be responsible for your own life, existence and meaning. Stoics even took the concept of responsibility further. They practised an exercise called “Negative Visualization. Every morning they pictured the worse of the possible scenarios for the upcoming day. Through this exercise, they would get mentally prepared for the worse of possible scenarios, so when they will actually happen they will be ready to react responsibly.
So, the Stoics are great examples if you want to cure yourself of the idea of Being Special. You can start with “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius who despite being an emperor was always humble and aware of his insignificance and despite all of that achieved great heights. Another book that is covering the topic of speciality, ego and offers the Stoic philosophy as a solution is “Ego is the Enemy” by Rayan Holiday.
The concept of “Speciality” is all around us, it can be even said that we will never get totally rid of it since it is rooted so deeply in our mind. But, constantly fighting with it will make our life better. Adopting responsibility as a core value is the secret weapon human beings have against the toxic concept of speciality.
